I have been struggling. Again.
I am so tired of feeling like this and I expect everyone who reads this is tired too. The fact is, I’m doing the best I can. I KNOW what I need to do, all I have to do, is do it.
I’m hoping that the winter is behind my sadness and lack of motivation and that once the long dark evenings have shortened, I’ll feel more tempted to get out and about as I know that’s what I need to do.
Writing wise, things are far too quiet. When I don’t sell stories, I lose faith which affects my confidence which dampens my mood which flattens my writing so that my stories aren’t as saleable. It’s a vicious circle. Sometimes I wish I had another source of income but as the retirement age keeps going up, that’s not going to happen any time soon.
There are good signs though. I am learning that having fun and making a mess is allowed. Even better news - in just over a week’s time, I’m going down to Leicester to see the man who did such great work for me back in 2008. Before seeing him, I couldn’t have led a workshop or given a talk. After seeing him, I had the courage to appear on TV.
I’ve tried other hypnotherapists since but they haven’t worked as well as I’d hoped. Like the fool that I am, I resisted going back to see Steve as he’s so far away and it’s expensive to get there, etc etc. Instead I’ve spent a small fortune on other therapies.
As regards this blog, I don’t want to get back on the depression band wagon so until I have something positive to say, I will be taking another break, so bye for now. If you need to get in touch, my email address is firstname.lastname@example.org
I'm enjoying painting again so will end by showing you a couple of my paintings. One is a bonobo, the other is a Maine Coon which I'm working on at the moment.